1) When you feel upset, you first need to be comforted and then the cause addressed
2) Judgment always, under all circumstances, backfires and returns to us as pain and fear
3) Your peace and safety have not disappeared, just obscured by judgment with the intention of resisting
When you hurt yourself and need to reach out for help, the last thing you need is the history and details of how and why you hurt yourself in the first place. You just want help! When your immediate emergency is relieved, then you can delve deeply into all that led up to your misfortune, learn the lesson from it, grow and heal thereby. So the emergency measure we need to take NOW is to stop judging anything/everything! Be aware and notice - yes. Have natural preferences - yes. Condemn, resist, judge, - absolutely not.
You cannot “understand” your way to peace of mind and a sense of safety, but you can follow the steps to get there once you can see it’s in your real best interests to follow them. This is not rocket science: if you 1) focus on something/someone, some situation - and then - 2) object, condemn, reject, vilify, resist - you will internally feel 3) objected to, pushed around, condemned, vilified, and rejected. Your attention is a prayer that is always answered and you don’t even have to understand how this works. Just try accepting your immediate experience without judgment and see. Once you feel safer and more grounded, then we move on to the specifics of how you hurt yourself in the first place so you can discontinue the habit. :)
For now, what if you decide to regard all things, including yourself, with mercy, kindness, and understanding? In the face of what you now see, would you be willing to try? You have nothing but your pain and fear to lose. Nothing but unexamined habit keeps you choosing this fear-inducing judgmental path. Do not listen to that inner small voice that says you don’t deserve kindness and comfort and that judgment will keep you safe. Ask yourself this simple question: “Is my judgment working to bring me peace and safety?” If not, choose again and cooperate with your own best interests. For your sake, I surely hope you will practice with great diligence staying present, noticing, with no objection.
With love and peace to all,
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