The true cause of loneliness and how to approach it


Key Takeaways

  1. Loneliness is an “inside job,” triggered by isolation but not caused by it.
  2. It's actual cause is a deep, mostly unconscious, belief that we are separate from all else.
  3. The secret is willingness to befriend all experience.

Where Loneliness Comes From

Let's take a look at loneliness, an experience common to all mankind at one point or another. The working presumption that it is caused by isolation from one's fellow man or lack of companionship is hardly airtight. Many feel lonely when they are with others, and at the other end of the spectrum, people deliberately isolate in order to deepen into contemplation or silence with lovely results.

So what if the cause is a completely unexamined one? Here's the deeper reason for this feeling. In a nutshell – we take for granted that our primary identity is a physical body, somehow associated with thoughts and emotions, thereby making us an object separate from all other objects. Nothing could be further from the actual truth. Therefore, the cause of our loneliness is this fake assumption of who and what we are. At a level that may go unnoticed for a lifetime, we feel great angst and guilt over this perceived separation. And that, my dears, is the fountainhead of the experience of loneliness regardless of external circumstances.

How To Handle Loneliness

So what to do about this? 1) Be willing and open to addressing this topic with a beginner's mind. What if you are a vast, loving, and unique expression of Love itself? 2) Allow yourself to deeply feel
whatever experience you label “loneliness” with no story about where it comes from. 3) Befriend this feeling as if it's your most precious companion. Be glad it's been brought to the surface for healing.

Sending you every blessing as you practice staying in the moment and befriending every experience that comes your way during this unusual time. I know this seems hard but no other approach will heal, only delay.

An Extra Blessing

Now – speaking of blessings, today (April 25) is Bill Thetford's birthday (co-scribe of A Course In Miracles for those who might not recognize his name) and in his honor I'm making his biography Never Forget To Laugh available at half price for the next two weeks. Just use this coupon code when ordering BILL50.


Countless readers around the world have raved about how meaningful and helpful reading about Bill's life has been to their own. I just received this message from a very grateful reader,

"I bought your book on Bill Thetford a while ago and only started reading it during the lockdown. This book is truly magnificent. I go back to many places that I have highlighted. Never did I realize how absolutely interesting his life story was, but also, the depth of the teachings you have included have shifted my mind dramatically. I just wanted to say thank you so very much for writing this book. It has been enlightening to say the least."

Much love to all,

Carol Howe


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